Skipholic
by kashudoreineko
Summary: Kyouko's wish is for revenge on Shoutaro. But as Yuuko knows, what you really want may not be what you think it is. There's a brief xxxHolic xover involved for humor.
1. Chapter 1

Title: TBD

Fandom: Skip Beat, with some xxxHolic xover

Pairing: Kyouko/Ren  
Rating: T  
Length: 6 chapters.

Summary: Karma has always been better at extracting revenge than humans.

DISC: I do not own Skip Beat or any of the characters. These belong to Nakamura Yoshiki and were originally published in Hana to Yume, and licensed through Viz Media in North America.

I also do not own xxxHolic or any of the characters. These belong to Clamp – those crazy mangaka who make us all practically faint for the shonen-ai and then YANK it out from under us. Clamp, if I can have one request, it's to give us some DouWata love by the end of this series! PLEASE!

Chapter 1

Oblivious to the impossibility of moving stealthily while in a fluorescent pink jumpsuit, LME's first member of the Love Me division sauntered through the halls of the television studio. She was there on assignment, so it wasn't like she had to sneak around, right?

The cunning twinkle in her eyes and the devious smirk on her face belied that thought.

In her pocket, her hand held her favorite Shoutaro voodoo doll, unconsciously flicking its nose with a sharp fingernail. She grinned more widely and passersby cringed at the aura of pure darkness she emitted as she started to cackle. "Lucky," she murmured.

For today, in studio 1, there was a special expo on mediums, and she was going to take this opportunity to talk to one of them about her future plans of revenge. How long would it take to finally beat her enemy? She had no doubt she'd succeed one day, but when?

And today, there were two mediums here in a battle to see which was real.

Oh, Kyouko knew already. The old hag was a fraud. Anyone could see that it was the little girl, Kohane, who was real. After all, she stuck to the truth even when the world turned against her. The girl reminded her of Maria, but with her sadness worn more openly. Kyouko felt the girl was a kindred spirit.

And the girl was here at the station where Kyouko had just completed her delivery of props to studio three. AND, today, Kyouko had almost two hours for a lunch break before she had to be back at LME – which just so happened to correspond to the time before and during the live medium program. It was obviously fate.

As she thought this, a woman stepped into view and turned toward her. The vision stopped her in her tracks.

The woman was tall, almost as tall as Tsuruga-san. Her hair was amazing – long straight tresses that fell almost to her knees and formed a swirling haloed aura as she turned toward the LME employee. THIS woman was the epitome of what a woman should be, what Kyouko strained to become. Such grace and beauty. Such self-possession. Her eyes grew wide and dreamy and she clasped her hands in front of her bosom, falling into her own daydream of what it would be like to command a room with that much authority.

And then, the woman stopped in front of her, an amused smirk painted on her face. "I'm flattered that you think so well of me, Mogami Kyouko-san."

The rich tenor voice cut through Kyouko's daze and snapped her to attention. "How- how do you know my name?"

"It's my job to know the name of my clients," she smiled languidly like a cat, owning every inch of her surroundings. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am called Ichihara Yuuko. I am known as the Witch of the Dimensions, the Witch of Space and Time. And I am here today to help you."

Noticing the girl glancing past her, toward studio one, Yuuko laughed softly. "I can understand your desire to meet sweet Kohane-chan. But her gifts are not the ones you need right now. Kohane merely sees spirits. She won't be trained in reading the future for another 10 years."

Was this girl really an actress? Yuuko smiled at how transparent her emotions were displayed for all to see. From fawning envy over Yuuko's self-possession to awe that Yuuko had come to see her, to confusion, to disappointment, to shock at how Yuuko seemed to know everything about her.

"I, on the other hand, have information that will be vital to your future." She clapped her hands once. "Alright then. Follow me!"

Blinking, Kyouko followed behind her. She had no idea why she was following, but what else was there to do? "Where… where are we going?"

Over her shoulder she declared, "This will be a conversation that will take almost all of your lunch break, so we will talk over lunch. Your treat, of course." She sighed. "Ah what a shame, you're too young for us to get sake. Oh, well."

XX

"You're a bright girl."

Raising one eyebrow, Kyouko responded, "There's nothing free in this life. And I doubt that this lunch I'm buying you," she gestured over the beef bowls the two were eating, "is enough to even the debt of whatever information you're about to give me, so before I agree to hear anything from you, I have to know: what is this going to cost?"

The predatory grin lit Yuuko's face. "As in all things, payment must be equal to the item purchased – neither too much nor too little is acceptable. So. I will tell you something VERY important for… let's say two of those lovely little dolls like the one in your pocket." The high school girl grabbed at her pocket as if to protect a treasure and the witch laughed. "Oh, no. I don't want one you've already made. These will need to be a custom job." She pulled out a picture of two high school boys, one scowling, and the other gazing at him with an amused and rather fond smirk. She set on top of the picture two small locks of hair.

Kyouko's brow furrowed. How did this woman know about her dolls in the first place? But she was distracted from her questions by the images in the photograph. The two boys were actually quite attractive. The shorter, bespectacled one had turned his back on the smirking one. And while the two boys were so very different in appearance, even through the picture she could sense that these two belonged together like a matched set. That made the whole request seem even more strange. What did the witch need the dolls for? Was this… this witch out to harm these two boys? To separate them? Or…

"My charges. Like lodestone and iron, but also like water and oil. Either way. Yet they fight their own hitsuzen. The dolls will help them pass some important hurdles – for their ultimate good, of course." She muttered to the side, while smiling, "My amusement will simply be a pleasant byproduct of the whole process."

They each continued eating as Yuuko explained further the deal that was to be made. "Once you've fully understood the importance of what I have to tell you, I will make my second offer. Do you accept the terms of my first offer?"

Concentrating, Kyouko considered. Making two dolls would be simple. She could have them done within the week. And she didn't sense that they would be used for nefarious purposes. Well, not TRULY nefarious anyway… Somehow, she had the feeling that it would make no real difference if she made them or not – what would happen to those boys would happen regardless. So why not benefit from it?

She nodded and Yuuko's grin grew wider. Now that it was settled, it was time to get to business. "So what is this vital information you needed to tell me?"

As she reached into her bowl for another bite of noodles, the witch declared, "In your quest for revenge, you've forgotten something very, VERY important, Mogami Kyouko-san." She slurped up the noodles.

"Wh- What?" Kyouko was on the edge of her seat, gripping her chopsticks tightly at either end.

Yuuko used her own to gesture as she said, "Karma."

Cocking her head as she set hers down, Kyouko replied, "Karma?"

"When contemplating revenge, Mogami Kyouko-san, one can never forget the importance of Karma. I can understand your passion. Fuwa-san used you, took everything you had to give and thought nothing of you or your love. You were something disposable in his life, and now, the goal to show him the error of that way of thinking burns within you – so strongly that you've grown your grudges into a fine defense force. And yet…"

She paused and took a sip from her bottle of Ramune. "Every time you try to take action on your own, take your revenge into your own hands, it blows up in your face. Every time to try to directly take action against him, you end up falling further behind. Is this not so?"

Kyouko's cheeks burned and she stared into her beef bowl. It was all true. It shamed her.

"Ah, there is no reason to feel remorse. This happens because revenge is something to be savored from the sidelines as the gods mete out their punishment, it is not something to be pursued on your own. Karma is that retribution, sprung from the hands of the gods – and they dislike interlopers. Have you not noticed that you make the best advances when you're focused on improving yourself, your own situation? It's only when you deliberately try to punish Fuwa-san that you're brought to heel. When the gods dispense karmic retribution, they take great pleasure in it, Kyouko-chan. You mustn't stand in their way."

Slamming her palm down on the table, Kyouko cried, "But I can't just give up!"

One finger waggled at her, "Trusting in the gods' hunger for vengeance is not giving up. You'll also be pursuing your own improvements – ones that will achieve your end goal without sullying your own kind spirit. It's hitsuzen. It was hitsuzen that you follow him here, that he betray you, that you become an actress, that you follow the path you're now on. It is even hitsuzen that you met me today. However, it is your choice whether or not you believe me when I tell you that if you truly want that boy to be put in his place, you'll need to trust in the gods for your revenge and focus on simply improving yourself."

Kyouko bit her lower lip as she thought. This woman – who knew more than she should, more than any human person possibly could – was telling her that she needed to give up her revenge. But that… that would leave her with nothing. Revenge was all she had!

"Now, now. There's more to you than just revenge, isn't there?" Yuuko responded. "You're on the road to becoming a great actress. You've got friends who support you, friends who love you from the bottom of their hearts." The witch's smirk disappeared as her eyes grew very serious. "You want to beat Fuwa Sho, then get out from under his thumb. Right now, you're tied to him in every way. Everything you do is because of him. Still. Just as if you'd never left that little apartment and allowed him to continue to run your life."

Probing eyes looked the actress up and down. "Or are you still hoping he'll come crawling back to you so that you can be with him again? Are you really still in love with him?"

A gasp ripped from the blond girl. "NO! No. I… I hate him."

She chuckled. "Ah, Kyoko-chan. Hate is not the opposite of love. Hate is just another side of the same coin. Indifference. Indifference is the opposite of love. 

"Think about it. Fuwa-san himself attempts to nurture your hatred, does he not? This is because it keeps him alive in your heart, keeps you connected to him. By keeping him your primary focus, he remains your most important person. How much more would it hurt him if you walked past him and didn't even notice his existence?"

Kyouko's mouth gaped. It was true. It was right. If she walked past Shoutaro as if he didn't even exist, he'd completely wig out. After all, his aim was to be noticed by all of Japan. Acting like he didn't exist would be a true slap in his face. It was enough to make her want to giggle. But… even so, as she thought about Sho her grudges started flying, anxious for a fight. She knew herself too well. There was just no way she could pretend that he didn't exist.

With lightning speed, Yuuko reached out and snatched one of the little grudges. Holding it, she began to stroke it, petting it with one finger. "Mm. These really are quite handy, aren't they? And so cute. But… they could use some rehabilitation.

"Kyouko-chan, the dolls you'll be making this week will be payment for the advice I've given you. Once I receive them, we'll be even – no debt on either side. However, I would like to borrow these from you for a bit. If you'd lend them to me to use for my own task, I could retrain them for you at the same time. The loaning of them would be your payment for the retraining. You'd get them back ready to act as protection, but without the single focus of hatred. They'll be much more efficient. And you'll be able to free yourself from Fuwa-san entirely."

"Le- lend you… but… but…"

"Hmm…" Yuuko mused. "Yes. I see. We wouldn't want to leave you unprotected. How about we take just two for a start? When they're ready, I'll send them back, and you can send me two more? We'll continue trading until they're all rehabilitated and you're finally healed of your pain."

"I… I…" The grudges swirled around her, begging her not to give up, reminding her of all the horrible things Sho had done to her. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair. And did she really want to give up on so many years of history? If she agreed to this, her feelings – even her rage – would fade so that she didn't care about him. Did she really want that?

She did, but… she also didn't. Sho had been so important to her life. And, he would continue to rise – because he did have talent. He wasn't just a copycat, like those stupid Beagles. He had more talent in his little pinky than those jerks had among their whole band.

Yuuko slyly commented, "I do wonder how you can truly defeat him if you're unconsciously supporting him in everything you do…"

Oooh. That hurt. But… Yuuko-san was right. Her need for revenge tied her to Sho. And as long as she was tied to Sho, she'd never have that missing ingredient that the President said she needed to truly become an actress. She had a new life now. She had friends like Moko and Maria. She had her most important sempai, Tsuruga Ren, whose very existence illuminated Sho as nothing but a spoiled brat, and who, unlike Sho, continually supported her in her own career as an actress.

That was it then. There was no other way to be free. She held one of the grudges and cuddled it. Then, turning aside as if she couldn't bear to watch, she handed it to Yuuko, who nodded graciously as she took this second grudge from the girl. The witch held the grudges, who were fighting, struggling to be free, very close to eye-level and said, "Do not fret little ones. I guarantee you'll enjoy your time with me. You're going to help fight demons. And on top of that, you'll get to help me with my two young ones. Oh, this will be so much fun!" At her words – and even more at the deviousness in her tone – they settled down, mischievous grins alighting on their faces.

XX


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Skipholic

Fandom: Skip Beat, with some xxxHolic xover

Pairing: Kyouko/Ren  
Rating: T  
Length: 6 chapters.

Summary: Karma has always been better at extracting revenge than humans.

DISC: I do not own Skip Beat or any of the characters. These belong to Nakamura Yoshiki and were originally published in Hana to Yume, and licensed through Viz Media in North America.

I also do not own xxxHolic or any of the characters. These belong to Clamp – those crazy mangaka who make us all practically faint for the shonen-ai and then YANK it out from under us. Clamp, if I can have one request, it's to give us some DouWata love by the end of this series! PLEASE!

Chapter 2

The next two months went by in a blur. Work was steady – the wrap up on Dark Moon was still to be completed, she had her regular stint as Bo, Box 'R' was going strong and was getting favorable press, and she'd done well on her examinations for both high school and her acting classes. On top of this, she'd been rented out for a few more Love Me assignments, too – random deliveries, cleaning services, things like that.

Not to mention that she had to make those two dolls, but really, that had been easier than she'd anticipated. She'd finished in just three days, and wasn't really surprised when the witch appeared to collect them during her lunch break four days after the last time they'd met. Yuuko had been quite pleased with the quality, clapping and giggling.

Honestly, though, when the witch said in a squeaky voice, "Oh, Shizuka, I've waited so long," then in a very deep baritone, "Kimihiro," then pressed the dolls' faces up to each other and made fake kissy noises before erupting into gales of laughter… Well that was… that was just weird and uncomfortable. And it made her worry for the state in which her grudges would be returned.

But there really wasn't much time to think about that on her schedule. In fact she'd barely had time to miss them when the first two were returned two weeks after she'd lent them to Yuuko. She'd thought that they would come back all sedate, but really, they seemed more energetic than ever – quicker to respond to threats, and more subtle in their punishments. For example, while in the bathroom stall, she overheard some LME actresses complaining about the Love Me pink jumpsuits being too outrageous. Instantly, one of the upgraded grudges flew and "assisted" the woman in applying her lipstick. She looked like a clown when it was done. But the grudge came back happy and she found she didn't dwell on the event afterwards like she would have previously. She sent the next two on, without worry.

Even better, the next time Shoutaro appeared to try to give her crap, the two grudges responded before she'd even consciously realized he was near, tripping him so that he ended up falling into a guy who looked like a construction worker – ending in an accidental kiss. She'd had a smile on her face for the entire rest of the day.

Two months after meeting Yuuko, she had eight updated grudges, and had passed all her examinations. She was now in her final year of high school. Her acting classes had also gone well, and she was moving into a more advanced class.

Things were starting to come together. She'd even gotten cast in a new commercial video. Finally – FINALLY – a role where she didn't have to be mean. In fact, she was the romantic female lead.

In this one, she was cast as the shy, bookish girl who had a crush on her sempai, but could barely work up the courage to talk to him. But then, one day, after watching him while he's at kendo practice, she goes to a vending machine, and gets the last Coke from the machine. He shows up right after and says, "Aw, man! I really wanted a Coke," and she wordlessly hands it to him, then runs away, scared and shy. After that, he starts to notice her and when he finally repays her Coke, he also tells her that he likes her and then kisses her. And that's the end of the spot, as the camera fades out on the can of coke they are both holding onto, their kiss in the background.

It was sweet and romantic.

Except… She'd never kissed anyone before.

Unless you counted that anteater invading her mouth looking for bait. Which she most certainly did not. Or the strange dreams that had been plaguing her recently where for some odd reason she had been dancing with someone – at first she thought it was Corn, but he had wings and golden hair, not the dark hair of her dream partner. And as they danced under the moonlight, his arms wrapped around her, his head so close to hers, she could feel his breath on her neck, in her hair. The feeling set her to shivering, and made her feel that something more should be coming – something that she wanted. As the dance neared its finish, he dipped her, and then, when he pulled her up, drew her close and kissed her… But just before his lips touched hers, she always woke up. So, she never actually got to the kiss.

None of this helped her out now. It stressed her out, but like Tsuruga-san had said, she was going to have to kiss people as an actor. She needed to accept that as part of her role. It had nothing to do with her personal life.

Except, how was she going to kiss convincingly when she'd never kissed anyone before?

_You need to learn how to kiss. _

What was she going to do? So distraught that she didn't notice the rehabilitated grudge whispering in her ear, all she could think was that this wasn't exactly something you could learn alone. She'd ask Moko for help, but… the thought of Moko teaching her how to kiss just made her giggle.

_No. Someone else…_

And there was NO WAY IN HELL she'd let Sho near her ever again.

_You know…_

There was really only one person.

And for some reason, the thought of asking him to teach her how to kiss properly made her feel like the ground had just given out beneath her – like she was freefalling and fast.

But…

The options were that she could ask Tsuruga-san for help, or she could learn how to kiss with whoever was cast opposite her. And frankly, that thought made her feel really gross.

She'd just have to put up with the roller coaster ride feeling and ask for help. Again.

It was a wonder that he hadn't given up on her already. She was so troublesome.

XX

"You want… me to… teach you how to…" He stopped, couldn't finish the question. Only years of practice allowed him to keep his face in a serene mask. His heart was pounding furiously. When he saw her waiting for him outside his apartment – again – this time with bags of food, which were obviously meant for her to make him dinner, he was sure she was there to ask for his help in something. The food would be the repayment. And with the amount of food he saw in the bags, he'd known it wasn't something she considered small. He'd invited her in, and while they were on the elevator, she told him why she was there.

Nodding, she looked up at him. "In the commercial I'll be filming this week, I'm a shy girl who has a secret crush on her sempai and at the end, the boy decides he likes me too and…" she blushed prettily, "he… kisses me, and I realize it's a very big imposition, but you were the only person I could think of to ask."

_I was the only person she could think of to ask? What does that mean? _

"I see," he said. "But if you're shy, your character has probably never been kissed before, right? So wouldn't it be easier if you just went like you are?"

Kyouko shook her head vigorously. "But no, because if I'm kissing some guy I don't even know – much less like – and I'm just using myself without acting, I think I'll just punch him or something. I need to practice so I can get used to the feeling of being kissed, and so I can think about what my character is feeling and show it right."

_I should have guessed. It didn't mean anything that she came to me for this. It's just practice – like practice walking in a model's stance. _

Sighing, he muttered as he opened the door to his apartment, "Why me?"

It wasn't intended to be heard, but hear it she did. "Well, I thought about asking Moko for help, but that seemed really… I thought I would end up wasting too much time giggling to make practicing productive. So it had to be a guy, and the only guys I know are Sawara-san, Yashiro-san, Director Ogata, and the guys on Bridge Rock. Kissing any of them would be… just weird. You were the only one that I thought it might feel natural to kiss." She didn't realize her cheeks flushed a bit as she said this, but she quickly amended the thought, "Because we're both professionals – so I knew you'd take it as an acting lesson for your lowly kouhai, so it'd be okay."

And then, she looked up at him with her wide eyes, pleading for his help, and when had he ever been able to say no to her?

Sighing again, he said, "Okay. Do you want to have dinner first?" _God, that sounds like I'm propositioning her! She wants me to kiss her. Kiss her. How do I get into these situations?_ He felt his cheeks warm and he turned his head away from her. _I just have to keep our bodies apart so she can't tell if… when… God, get me through this night!_

_Oh, he's looking away. I've really am a terrible bother to him all the time. _"Um… I…"

With a brisk nod, he decided teasing her a bit might lighten the mood. "Well, I wouldn't want you to be worried about it the whole time you're cooking. So why don't we put the groceries in the refrigerator and then start on the acting session right away?"

He called it an acting session in an attempt to lessen his nerves. It wasn't working.

Slowly, she nodded. "Okay."

They moved to the kitchen and put all the items away. As Kyouko placed the last item in the fridge, Ren asked, "So, how does the kiss happen?" He watched her bend over to put something on the bottom shelf, her short skirt riding up to show more of her long, long legs. He was minutes away from kissing her. Pressing his lips against her own…

"Um… Well, I'm too scared, so I'm kind of running away from him, so he pins me against a wall so he can give me a Coke – I'd given him one earlier, it's a commercial for Coke – and then he tells me that he likes me and when I look up at him, he kisses me." She backed out of the fridge and shut the door.

Immediately, he grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her against the icebox. He could feel heat radiating off her petite frame. How many times had he wanted to do this? And now, she was asking him to – as acting practice. It was beyond ironic. If it weren't for the iron will he was going to need to keep himself in control, he'd think this was simply a gift from the gods. "Like this?" he whispered against her ear, and she gasped and then swallowed before gazing up at him.

"Y- yeah," she managed to stutter out.

Those eyes, that smile. He whispered, "I love you," and then his lips were pressed against her own.

_Oh. This is… _She couldn't even complete the thought. It was the exact opposite of what she'd felt when that anteater had attacked her. Unknowingly, she sighed, opening her mouth and before she knew it, his tongue was lightly caressing her own. This was… her knees were weak and there were tingles and, unconsciously her own tongue started pressing against his own. His hands were sliding behind her back, wrapping her in an embrace. Her own wrapped around his neck, fingers stroking his back.

_Kyouko. Oh, God. I… Have to…_ Gasping, he pulled back and schooled his face to stillness. "Na- Not bad for a first kiss."

_Oh. Right. Acting. He's acting. He was acting like he wanted to… _ She smiled at him wanly. "Wh- What should… I do differently?"

_This was… She kissed him back – but it was just acting. _He felt himself becoming unreasonably angry. _No. This isn't fair to her. _"Well… What were you thinking about when you were kissing me?" Ooh. He liked the way that sounded.

She blinked with a blank expression. "I… thinking? I…" _I wasn't thinking about anything. Except how good it felt. How warm and comfortable and… Oh! But I can't say that! _She blushed and said, "I'm so sorry, sempai. I wasn't properly focused. I'm not really sure. But if we…" She stood up straight and proper. "I'll pay more attention the next time! I won't fail."

He was caught between disbelief – what had she really been thinking? – and sly enjoyment. If he could make sure she kept getting it wrong, he'd get to keep kissing her. And if he had his way, they'd be kissing all night. "Okay. Let's try it again. I'll start a little more slowly this time."

Framing her against the wall, he leaned down toward her ear. "What are you feeling right now?" his breath ghosted across her ear and she shivered.

"I… That… It's kind of like it tickles," she breathed, "but… it makes me just feel warm instead of wanting to laugh," she replied honestly.

He had to fight back a groan. He pulled back a bit and captured her eyes with his own. "I don't mean just the physical sensations. What are your emotions? Your sempai, who you've had a crush on," he swallowed, berating himself for stating something that would be nothing but wishful thinking, "has pinned you against the wall. You're trapped, Kyouko. You can feel my body heat radiating toward you."

He leaned again to her ear. "My breath is blowing on your neck, your ear. At any second, my lips could press against you." He blew lightly on her neck. "Have you thought about it before? What it would be like if my lips were to take yours? What it would feel like for me to brush them against your cheek, or nibble on your ear?"

A butterfly light kiss on her earlobe made her jump. "Have you thought about what will come next?"

He pulled back to see her head was leaning against the fridge, chin tilted upwards. Her eyes were closed, her lips slightly parted. "Yes," she breathed.

He smiled. Until she gasped and opened her eyes. "I… I mean… my character would have thought about kissing the guy she liked… right?"

He frowned. "Well, that's your decision. It's your character." _Damn it. Was she talking about me? Or not. _He leaned closer to her. "When I lean in, are you scared I'm going to kiss you? Or scared I'm not?"

She thought for a moment, looking into his eyes. _It's not fair that his eyes can be that beautiful and clear. And they're so dark today._ "I… Yes," she breathed, lifting her chin as if trying to make it easier for him to reach her lips.

Smirking at her body's reaction, he inquired, "Well, which is it?" His lips had closed all but the last quarter inch.

Her eyes were clear and honest as she breathed softly, "Both."

"I love your honesty, Kyouko." All she'd have to do is lift her lips a hair to kiss him. But the role called for him to kiss her, so…

_Oh. Oh. Yes. _This felt… He was kissing her. She… her character… was being kissed by the man – boy – she liked. And in that second, everything fell into place. She'd started by respecting him. He was smart and talented – revered by everyone. And eventually, she – her character – had started noticing him more and more. It was like she wanted to spend every moment she could watching him, his beauty, his kindness. But he didn't think of her that way. And why would he? She was just… ordinary. But because of her own kindness – giving him that soda – he sees her for the first time. And he finds something – she's not sure what, but who's to say about taste? – in her that makes him feel the same for her. So, he does what he can to get her attention: the same thing she had done. And then, before she can run away, he does what she's wanted. At first, she can't believe it – it's too good to be true. But, as the words he's said, and the feeling of his kiss penetrates, she gives in. It is real.

She pulled out of the kiss and beamed at him. "That was it! Thank you Tsuruga-san! I know how to play this now!"

Quickly, he shut his face to a blank. "You… do?"

She nodded. "You always help me so much. I wish I could do something more for you than just cook for you."

He shook his head. "No. It's nothing. Why don't you start cooking now? I'm going to… go take a bath before dinner. It was… kind of a long day."

Eyes widened like dinner plates. "I'm so sorry. Please. I'll call you when it's ready. Go relax."

_One of these days, she's going to kill me. _He limped to the bathroom, reminding himself the whole way that he'd known it was just acting lessons and that he was a fool to take her reactions personally.

XX

Within the next week, Kyouko shot the commercial. The director gave her only one NG, and praised her on her professionalism. Still, part of her was frustrated by the fact that when she looked up at the boy leaning in toward her, she had to picture Tsuruga-san's face in order to get that same feeling she'd had during practice. It seemed somehow… like she was misusing him. But… picturing his face made kissing the young boy tolerable. And no one else noticed that the "shyness" she portrayed was actually more of distress and dismay at letting this person touch her. She was an actress. She'd have to get better at this stuff.

Well, if the need came up again, maybe Tsuruga-san would practice with her. When he'd come out of the bath, wrapped in a flannel yukata, part of her wanted to practice some more right then. But that would have been taking advantage of his kindness. And she noticed how tired and dazed he looked, so as soon as she'd served him the food, she ran out the door to "catch the last bus." He'd just sighed and sagged back – she could see it as she gently closed the door behind herself. He'd somehow looked disappointed.

But next time, she'd make sure she didn't do anything to disappoint him.

The following day, she was expecting him to say something, but he seemed normal – for the few minutes they had to talk. He was onscreen most of the day.

Interestingly enough, in the week since she'd learned how to kiss, that strange dream had started happening every night. Every morning, she woke up with her heart beating, feeling like she was on the verge of learning something vitally important. And when her next two grudges came back from Yuuko, the dreams started feeling more urgent. And one day, when reflecting on the dream, she remembered the kissing lessons with Tsuruga-san. But that… was inappropriate, so she refused to think about it.

Other than her weird dreams, things were going well. No one was making fun of the Love Me department anymore at LME – even Chiorin seemed to be doing better now that she had joined. The President had agreed to let her high school and acting school bill LME and make deductions to her paychecks to cover it, and since she was working so much, it really felt like there was nothing missing from her checks at all. She'd been able to buy herself a few new outfits – with Moko along to ensure that she didn't revert to sappy, ugly clothes. And best of all, she'd run into Sho several times without even feeling anger, hatred – or anything. It made her feel kind of smug, actually.

The only sad part of it all was that Dark Moon was finished – the wrap party would be the following night. It was sad on so many levels. First, she would have to say goodbye to Mio. Well, no, Mio would always be a part of her now. But, she wouldn't be appearing on so regular a basis. It felt like a dear friend was moving to another country. It felt like it had when Corn had left.

Second, she would have to say goodbye to the cast and crew. Working so closely together for these months, they'd become friends. Now, she wouldn't see them as often, and she'd miss them.

It was probably for the best though. She'd really started relying too much on him – them. She needed to be self-sufficient. She couldn't go running to Tsuruga Ren – or the director or other cast members – every time she had questions or concerns about a role. Not if she wanted to advance from extreme newbie to professional actress. There was no use sighing about the fact that there would no longer be late nights reviewing lines or cooking for…

Oh, man. But would he eat properly when she wasn't around? That man, even though he said it was important to care for your body, he always neglected his own. Sharing rides had helped, because she made him eat on the way. But now…

Jeez! And now no more rides. It was back to the bike for her. That was sure to be a pain. Well. Feh. It would help keep her in shape. A must for an actress. Still, it did make her feel a bit at a loss. She'd come to enjoy riding with him.

Well, at least she had tonight's ride home to look forward to. Better enjoy it while it lasted.

That thought in mind, she walked down the hall, toward his dressing room. As she neared the room, she heard Ren's voice, shouting, "Why can't you let it drop?" He must have been practicing for that mystery part of his, because Ren never raised his voice like that normally. The rest was unintelligible at first, but as she got closer to the room, the words became clearer.

"Fuwa has NOTHING to do with this."

Ren yelling the name Fuwa caught her up short and she froze in place as her grudges all placed their ears at the door. After a moment, she did as well, only to hear Yashiro's voice conversing with Tsuruga.

"…jealous enough to react. I'm glad you've realized that she's almost completely over him – I thought you were going to trip over your own jaw that day when the crew was gawking over his latest video in the break room and she didn't even notice. But the fact remains, if you don't tell her how you feel, she's going to find someone else. There are plenty of guys in the world, and she's only going to become more popular the more work she gets. And she's getting a LOT of offers. Like that commercial I saw in editing – where she's KISSING some young boy. I'm telling you, now that the show is over and you're not going to see her every day, you've got to do something to keep her thinking about you."

"And I'm telling you: Kyouko doesn't – she won't ever – see me that way. She would think I was just acting or something if I did kiss her the way I want to. She… doesn't believe in love. She has good reason not to. Everyone she's had around has hurt her. Her mom, Fuwa, even… Do you even wonder why I don't tell her? It's because I know me. I know me! I can't tell her until I'm sure I won't ever hurt her.

"You," He snorted. "You don't know who I am, who I've been. And when I'm with her, I can feel the old me – the person I used to be – starting to take over. She makes me feel… EVERYthing. God, I scare myself when it comes to her. When I see some other guy talking to her, I just want to lock her away. I want her so badly, I'm afraid someday I won't be able to stop myself. When I saw Fuwa kiss her, I wanted to reach down his throat and rip his lungs out. When that damned beagle cornered her, I wanted to snap his scrawny neck for scaring her. When it comes to Kyouko, there's nothing I wouldn't do."

"YES!" Yoshiro crowed. "That's it. What girl wouldn't swoon if a guy told her that!"

A loud thwack – like a palm smacking a table – resounded clearly. "NO! You don't get it. You think these are words, empty words. But I'm talking about reality. Do you really think Kyouko would want me to actually hurt Fuwa Sho? Even back when she was a girl, when her mother was abusing her and that piece of shit was already ordering her around with no regard for her feelings, she was strong and independent – and honorable. She'd take things on herself, hide in the woods and cry, blaming herself, rather than worry that jerk with her tears. And I can't… Every time I don't consciously stop myself, all I think about is the way she feels in my arms, her lips, the way she smells, her eyes looking at me with such trust and I just want to… If I let go of my control, let myself fully feel all I feel for her, I might really… break her."

"But… you'd never…"

"Are you sure about that? You don't know the real me, who I really am. You don't know what kind of life I've led. You just focus on the sweetness of romance – as if it were a movie or a manga. Like all I need to do is create a romantic atmosphere, look into her eyes and say, 'Mogami Kyouko, I'm in love with you, I can't imagine my life without you anymore,' and everything will work out like roses and chocolates. But it will never work out that way. It's just not possible for someone like me.

"Don't you see? I'd rather have Kyouko safe as my friend than hurt her. I'd even settle for her thinking we're just kouhei and sempai if it means I get to keep her by my side and happy. I love her. I'll do anything I can to support her. My feelings aren't important if they'll hurt her. So, please. From now on. Just drop it. Okay?"

Dazed, Kyouko sagged against the door. Her bag landed against it with a thump, but she was too distracted to notice. Had she really just heard? Could she be mistaken?

Tsuruga Ren loved… her?

She heard in her head the voice saying, "I'll do anything I can to support her. My feelings aren't important." How many times had she thought the same kind of thing about Sho?

What did any of that even mean? He loves me? But love was just devastation. Pain. Loneliness.

Her heart thumped, and she felt that tingle in her belly like the night he'd prepared her for the commercial. He'd leaned over her. His breath in her hair.

But. If he loved her, then everything… all the times they spent together would be destined to become laced with pain. …Weren't they?

The door opened and Yashiro stared at her, as she leaned in a daze against the door.

"Ah, Mogami-san. We're almost done here and ready to go."

His voice startled her out of her ruminations and she stared at him with wide eyes. "Yashiro-san! I… I…" Ren's head appeared over his manager's shoulder and she paled. Why did he look like Corn so much right now? He was in love with her? She couldn't… she just couldn't…"I gotta go!" She turned and ran, not noticing that one of her grudges stayed behind, hovering around the handsome actor.

"Wait! We'll give you a ride!" Yashiro called, but she had already fled.

Ren ran into the hall, calling after her. "Kyouko!" The grudge settled itself on his shoulder, as if it were planning to camp there for a while.

"Hm. Do you think she heard us?" Yashiro asked, risking death at the hands of the Emperor of Night by stating the obvious yet again.

XX


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Skipholic

Fandom: Skip Beat, with some xxxHolic xover

Pairing: Kyouko/Ren  
Rating: T  
Length: 6 chapters.

Summary: Karma has always been better at extracting revenge than humans.

DISC: I do not own Skip Beat or any of the characters. These belong to Nakamura Yoshiki and were originally published in Hana to Yume, and licensed through Viz Media in North America.

I also do not own xxxHolic or any of the characters. These belong to Clamp – those crazy mangaka who make us all practically faint for the shonen-ai and then YANK it out from under us. Clamp, if I can have one request, it's to give us some DouWata love by the end of this series! PLEASE!

Chapter 3

Grabbing her bike, she rode as if the devil himself were on her heels.

There was too much to think about, her head was spinning. The grudges were circling, too.

She must have misheard. There's no way Tsuruga-san could be in love with her. He'd said it though. That night at his apartment.

But they were acting. He… She MUST have heard wrong. Misunderstood.

"_Mogami Kyouko, I can't imagine my life without you anymore. I'm in love with you."_

Okay. Well. That wasn't much open to misinterpretation, was it? But… was he just acting? Acting what? And why? It couldn't be.

He couldn't imagine his life without her, huh? Well, so what? For that matter, she couldn't imagine her life without him, either. That didn't mean she loved him… She didn't love ANYone. And wouldn't. She'd sworn. If she loved someone, she'd just end up hurt again.

And regardless of that, it didn't mean he loved her like THAT.

"_I want her so badly... All I think about is the way she feels in my arms, her lips, the way she smells, her eyes looking at me…"_

Right, there would be no thinking about that. None. It made her feel like he was breathing on her neck, in her hair.

This was too... too much. Love? Love was nothing but pain. That was what Sho had taught her. He'd used her – treated her like a servant. He'd never cared about her at all. She quit school, followed him to another city, worked three jobs to support him. And all he ever did was lash out at her. He'd never, ever cared. She'd have done anything for him. Anything.

"_When it comes to Kyouko, there's nothing I wouldn't do."_

That was… it sounded like… something she would have said about Sho back then. She set aside everything she wanted and now, Tsuruga-san…

"_I love her. I'll do anything I can to support her."_

He'd do anything. That… That was a lot of pressure on her. What if she couldn't return his feelings? Would it be as if she were… like Sho? She couldn't stand that. He'd end up hating her. NO! That wasn't… She didn't want that. Couldn't he just stay her friend?

"_I'd rather have Kyouko stay my friend than hurt her."_

There. There. It would be okay. Because he was okay with staying her friend. They could stay friends and…

"_I want her so badly."_

Her heart flipped in her chest again. He… wanted…

Could she really ignore that he felt more for her than friendship and put it all aside? That really would be acting like Sho. Putting her feelings first and letting him think…

"_My feelings aren't important if they'll hurt her."_

No. His feelings were important. He had feelings. But… But, he was so… self-condemning. It didn't make any kind of sense.

"_It's just not possible for someone like me…"_

It hurt her brain to think about it. Tsuruga Ren didn't think he was good enough for her? Ludicrous! He was her sempai – he was smart and kind and amazing and talented. He was so far above her that when he stood so close to her, like that night, she could feel her heart racing to keep up. Who was she in comparison? She was just Kyouko. Stupid Kyouko who'd never even had friends EVER until recently. No parents, no friends – only Sho, and he'd only been using her. She was nothing. Nothing… It was like he had things backwards.

"_Back when her mother was abusing her and that piece of shit was already ordering her around, she was strong and independent – and honorable."_

Honorable? How would he know whether she was honorable? How did he know what she was like as a kid? Had she talked to him about it? …No. She hadn't. She really hadn't told him much of _**anything**_ about herself… So how had he known…

"_She'd take things on herself, hide in the woods and cry, blaming herself, rather than worry that jerk with her tears."_

There was only one person who knew that – other than herself. Only she and…

"_You don't know who I am, who I've been."_

All of a sudden, it became clear. Lighten his hair. Add some fairy wings… And a ready smile – instead of that occasional, usually hidden one… Oh, that smile that he showed so infrequently. It was the smile of…

Corn. Our Fairy Prince.

Tsuruga Ren is Corn.

Dancing with her in the moonlight in her dreams, the dark hair, and Corn…

He's Corn. He never said…

"_Corn is a proper adult now. He found his wings. He can properly fly."_

And she'd felt so relieved, because when he said it, she'd known it was true. He'd finally… become free.

"_Father's fingers are too wide, I can't fly…"_

Father. She smiled sadly. She couldn't think about the word father now without thinking of Hizuri Kuu.

…and his son, Kuon.

Oh, no.

Kuon.

Which when pronounced with an American accent sounded like…

Corn.

Oh, gods. Tsuruga Ren is Hizuri Kuon, son of Hizuri Kuu.

"_You don't know who I am, who I've been."_

Kuon. Corn. I modeled my Kuon after Corn and it actually was.

Oh, god. Father. You… you never told me, either.

And I jumped right in front of Ren and called myself him. I'm such an idiot. No wonder he was in such shock.

He must have been laughing at me the whole time.

But he... He said I'd gotten the emotions pretty much right. Didn't he?

Why didn't he tell me…

All this time, he was Corn… And…

Corn. I've missed him so much. Holding on that stone that he gave me…

Oh. At LME. When I dropped the magic stone and he found it. He said, "This is…" and looked at me. He knew. He knew right then.

All this time, lying to me. I thought… I thought we'd become friends. Even when he picked on me so much. Smiling at me with his furious fake smile. What else has he faked? When he kissed me… was that fake, too? Or was the acting…

"_I'll do anything I can to support her."_

God. He… He's helped us more than anyone else, too. Finding Mio and Natsu… Kisses that melt my knees…

And Queen Rosa. Princess Rosa… He…

"_When it comes to Kyouko, there's nothing I wouldn't do."_

What am I going to do?

Corn…

It hurts. I don't know what to do.

She stumbled blindly off her bike, into the restaurant, up the stairs. Falling into routine, she washed her face, changed, and tumbled into bed. Usually she laid the pouch with her magic stone right on the nightstand, but tonight, the stone was in her hands. Clutching it, she rubbed it and held it up to capture the moonlight that was filtering in through the window.

The light it captured twinkled, with an indigo cast instead of the electric blue it captured in the sun. "What should I do?" she whispered as if the stone might magically answer her. When no response came, she clutched it to her chest, holding it tightly until she fell asleep.

Her grudges were all clinging to her in desperation. Except 9, which continued to flit about her head, whispering things to her as she slept.

XX


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Skipholic

Fandom: Skip Beat, with some xxxHolic xover

Pairing: Kyouko/Ren  
Rating: T  
Length: 6 chapters.

Summary: Karma has always been better at extracting revenge than humans.

DISC: I do not own Skip Beat or any of the characters. These belong to Nakamura Yoshiki and were originally published in Hana to Yume, and licensed through Viz Media in North America.

I also do not own xxxHolic or any of the characters. These belong to Clamp – those crazy mangaka who make us all practically faint for the shonen-ai and then YANK it out from under us. Clamp, if I can have one request, it's to give us some DouWata love by the end of this series! PLEASE!

Chapter 4

"Worthless!" Her mother's voice still echoed in her ears as she sat on the ground under a tree, crying. In her hand was a beautiful red rose of enormous size.

It was true that she wasn't good for much. But she tried so very hard. Why would no one ever love her?

Movement and thump in front of her startled her from her tears and she looked up to see a beautiful blond boy in front of her.

"Did you know that if you water that kind of rose with your tears, it will create magic stones that can cure whatever makes you sad?"

She shook her head. "It will?"

The boy nodded.

"Are you a fairy prince?" she asked – really, there was no other explanation for the sudden appearance, falling from the sky, of so beautiful a boy.

He just smiled at her. "I bet you've watered this one enough by now that there's probably a stone already being formed. Here," he held his hand out, "let me see."

Kyouko handed him the rose.

"Ah, I was right." He wiggled his fingers and somehow pulled out a blue stone. "See! This type of stone magically absorbs all your feelings of sadness. Then, when you hold it up to the light, the sun burns all the sorrow away." He handed the stone to her. When she held it up, it shifted from a blue rock into a beautiful, tear-drop shaped pink crystal, and she gasped.

"Magic!" she breathed. "You're magic, aren't you."

He shrugged. "I think you're the one who's magic," he said softly. "The most magical girl ever in this or any world."

She blushed, and he reached out and took her hand. They walked side by side in the moonlight. Finally, he stopped her and turned her to face him. "I'm sorry I left you for so long. I… Do you hate me?"

"I…" she hesitated.

A voice called from the other side of the woods, "Kyouko! Where the hell are you?"

"Sho," she said.

He grimaced. "He always had your heart. Even back then. I… I just want you to be happy, Kyouko." He turned as if to walk away.

It was happening again. He was going to leave her. The years without him – she'd been so lonely. No one could ever take his place – her fairy prince. She stood up and grabbed him by the arm. "NO! Don't leave! Not again."

He turned to her and gazed into her eyes. His own were ablaze with want and sorrow and restraint. One hand stroked her cheek. "Corn," she whispered. His lips looked so soft and moist, and they were, she found, as she pressed her lips against his. Strong arms wrapped around her and she collapsed into his embrace. "Oh, Ren."

All those times in the past when he'd carried her – oh, he was warm and her curves matched his angles and it felt so right. Her own hands began stroking up and down his back and her lips parted and his tongue entered her mouth – but she couldn't taste this kiss, which was a little weird, but who cared when tingles were running through her torso out to her extremities.

Her hands were under his shirt on his bare back, oh, the silkiness of his skin, and now she was on fire. His hands found her breasts and instead of being embarrassed, she arched into the touch.

The kiss broke and he kissed down her neck, whispering, "I love you, I love you," and all she could think was, "I never felt like this about Sho. I want… more. More." Her hands pushed fabric off his shoulders and her lips began kissing shoulder, neck, chest. Had Sho done this kind of thing with Shouko? And then, it was Sho kissing her and she shuddered in revulsion.

"No!" she exclaimed, striking him with her fists, pushing him away.

"Give it up," he retorted smugly. "A nothing like you will never get another chance at someone like me."

With a solid upper cut, she exclaimed, "I don't WANT you!" She pulled her shirt, which had been worked open, closed and took off running. Through the forest, like the wind, she ran. Tree branches whipped at her limbs, leaving marks where they struck her. And then it was a sea of lights – so hot, lights swirling, on the set and Corn was there, and he was kissing – oh, he was kissing Mizuki as if she were the very air he needed to breathe. Stumbling to a stop, she grasped at her heart. Oh, god, it hurt. It hurt.

He'd said he was in love with her, but-

And then, "Cut!" rang through the air and he let the actress go. He turned to Kyouko, and it was Corn smiling, it was Ren. Then, he was picking her up and swinging her around, capturing her lips.

"God, I want you. I want you. Only you." And his lips were on hers again, as if to erase the taste of that actress. Lips travelled up her neck, to her ear as he whispered her name, his voice filled with love, "Kyouko." She wrapped her arms around him and his hands on her shoulders began shaking her. "Kyouko…"

"KYOUKO!" The shaking grew more violent and she awoke with a start.

"Kyouko, dear. If you don't get up now, you're going to be late to your job."

Blinking, she gasped. Then looked down to see in her sleep, she'd not only held onto the blue stone, she'd grasped the pink stone on her necklace as well.

But the Okami was correct. She needed to go. Nodding, she got up. The dream had made such sense while she was in it. Yet, now...

She needed to figure out what those kisses and that tingly feeling she'd had in her dream meant. One thing was certain, she'd never felt anything quite like that before. The closest had been when Ren had leaned over after eating her Valentine's day gift. Oh. Yeah.

Her own words came back to her. "Those feelings are the precursor to love."

Her heart thumped loudly. So strange. Light-headed, she wondered if maybe she was starting to become ill.

XX


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Skipholic

Fandom: Skip Beat, with some xxxHolic xover

Pairing: Kyouko/Ren  
Rating: T  
Length: 6 chapters.

Summary: Karma has always been better at extracting revenge than humans.

DISC: I do not own Skip Beat or any of the characters. These belong to Nakamura Yoshiki and were originally published in Hana to Yume, and licensed through Viz Media in North America.

I also do not own xxxHolic or any of the characters. These belong to Clamp – those crazy mangaka who make us all practically faint for the shonen-ai and then YANK it out from under us. Clamp, if I can have one request, it's to give us some DouWata love by the end of this series! PLEASE!

Chapter 5

Chicken suit in place, Kyouko had to reach deep inside herself to find the energy to portray Bo today. She felt like she'd split herself into two people. One person was jumping and dancing and interacting with the crowd in the audience, but another part of herself was in a corner of her mind reviewing what she'd heard and dreamt over and over again. When she wasn't on stage, Kyouko walked around almost unseeing, nearly walking into walls, doors, and other props. Her thoughts were just too heavy today.

_Tsuruga Ren said he loved me. What is love, anyway? I thought I knew – with Sho. But if that's love, I want no part of it._

_So why do so many people speak of love all glowy and reverent? Maybe… maybe I never… Could what I had with Sho have not been love? He never made me feel like… those kisses, the way Ren touched me … I should have been repulsed. Like I was when it was Sho. But…_

_Does that mean… I… Do I want to kiss him? Corn. Ren. _

"Wow. She's kind of out of it today," Hikaru (one of the Bridge hosts) said softly.

Nodding, Yuusei (another Bridge host) responded, "Makes me kind of glad that we did book Fuwa Sho as our guest today. If anything will snap her out of her funk, it'll be him."

Grimacing, Shinichi (the third Bridge host) sighed, "Oh, god. Not him again. I don't care if he HAS had the number one spot on the music scene for 5 months straight. She's gonna tear down the whole set."

Yuusei replied with an evil grin, "This is gonna be fun."

Fuwa came onto the set and Bo danced around, graciously introducing him to the Bridge hosts. But before he sat for his interview, he turned to the giant chicken and said, right in front of the camera, "What? No challenges for me today?"

Bo merely shrugged and gestured him to his seat. All four males on the set had confused looks on their faces.

_I wonder… Does he feel that way about me as Ren or Corn. Well, it doesn't really matter, does it. Corn isn't really a fairy prince, is he? So even if I did kiss him, it wouldn't be like that made me Cinderella or some princess or anything, right? _

_Oh, I don't know. Isn't it close enough? I mean, he's perfect – the number 1 actor in Japan. He's totally above me. He's so perfect and… I could never be good enough._

The entire interview, Fuwa Sho seemed determined to get the chicken riled this time, instead of the other way around. He commented about how chickens are pretty much useless animals, made a comment about actors being dull and uninteresting, and stated that after five months on the charts, he was pretty invincible – those who thought to displace him were probably sad, lonely people who couldn't get a date.

And yet, Bo didn't rise to the bait. Once the first part of the show was over, the chicken strode off the set, calling an absent-minded "be back in 10" to the hosts and walking past Fuwa Sho without saying a word.

_Except that… Tsuruga Ren never acts as if he thinks he's above me. Well, except for when I really screw up… _

_But I still don't understand why… I mean, even if he is Corn… even if he thought he could never tell me that he's Kuon… Is that it? Is he afraid I'd tell someone? _

_If that's it, I'm going to have to get angry. I would never – NEVER – betray his trust._

_But it didn't feel like that was it. It was more like he felt he was a bad person. How crazy is that? The son of Hizuri Kuu – a bad person? Tsuruga Ren a bad person? It's nonsensical._

The hosts watched as Fuwa-san's expression grew furious, they could practically see the steam coming out of his ears. He stormed off the set, following her and pushed the giant chicken up against the wall next to the changing room, then pulled her chicken head off.

"What the hell are you doing, ignoring me – the GUEST on this show!" he screamed at her.

She pulled the head out of his hands, barely looking at him. "Listen, Sho, could you just leave me alone? I've got *important* things to think about – I don't have time to deal with you today." With that, she shrugged out of his grasp and walked down the hall toward the prop room to get things they'd need for the next show segment, leaving a gaping Sho behind.

As she slipped out of the room, all three hosts began to laugh.

"See if I ever do this show again!" Sho exclaimed as he stormed to his dressing room.

At the other end of the hallway, a pair of eyes watched the whole scene with rising excitement.

XX

Yoshiro was practically bouncing up and down. "You should have seen it. She completely ignored him! I'm telling you, Sho was furious and Kyouko couldn't have cared less. It was amazing."

Shaking his head and maintaining his stoic façade, Ren replied, "It's only because I've upset her. It doesn't mean anything."

"It doesn't mean anything?"

Shaking his head, "When something bothers her to this extent, it takes over."

"But that means that YOU are number one in her mind right now!"

Ren just shrugged.

_In his mind he pictured Kyouko coming up to him, her grudge auras swirling and oppressive. "You dare to think you love me? You? You are lower than scum! You hurt everyone you touch. I will defeat you and make you pay!" The imaginary Kyouko laughed evilly, and yet somehow managed to look more beautiful than he'd ever seen her before. _

"_But I…" he whispered, but she just pointed at him._

"_There can be no forgiving of this betrayal. It's because of you that I will never meet Corn again!" The grudges swarmed, each attacking him with grey punches of depression as he turned and walked away, understanding full well that he'd never see the brilliant light of the sun ever again._

He sighed. Now he was indulging in Kyouko-like fantasies. He was so far gone. There really wasn't any way out. It was bad enough when she didn't know how he felt. But to know it, and feel so oppressed… He was truly the worst. The little grudge on his shoulder shook its head and tried to comfort him.

The manager sighed, then decided to try a different tactic. "Well what are you going to do about tonight?"

"Tonight?"

"You're supposed to give her a ride to the wrap party tonight."

Oh, crap. "Would you mind calling her and telling her I got held up at my latest job – that you're going to bring her in place of me and I'll just meet you there?"

Shaking his head, Yoshiro muttered, "Chicken."

Ren stood up straight. "What did you just say?"

"I said, 'Sure, I'm on it.'"

"_No," the grudge whispered, smiling. "He said, 'Chicken.'" Chicken…_

"I… I'll be back in just a bit."

XX

He ran down the hallway to where he'd first met his chicken friend, and sure enough, the bird was sitting on the bench, head hanging.

"Hey, buddy. You okay?" Ren asked.

The chicken jumped and clucked a little "Eeep!"

Chuckling, Ren said, "Sorry. Didn't mean to startle you. I… I actually came here hoping to see you."

One wing fluttered over the chicken's breast as it replied, "You… You did?" Then the tone became slyer. "Why?"

With a wry expression, he responded, "Because… because I think I messed up something really important and you've always been helpful to me, every time we've met. I thought maybe you'd be willing to listen again."

The chicken sat up straight. "Oh. Well… O… kay."

Heaving a sigh of relief, Ren said, "Thank you."

"So… what's bugging you today?"

At this, the actor became quiet. He sat really still as he considered. Just when Bo was about to ask another question, though, his baritone voice rang out, "I… I'm in love with this girl – the one I was telling you about. But besides the fact that she's still in high school… I… I knew her before. Back when we were kids. But she hasn't recognized me. And I never told her who I was.

"See, I did a lot of bad things between then and now, and I was trying so hard to be a better person. I changed my identity before I became an actor, to get away from all I'd done and remake myself."

The chicken nodded and said, "Oh, so you couldn't tell her because you didn't trust her."

"No! That's not it. Well… At first, I didn't know how she'd react, that's true, but I couldn't let anyone know. It was a promise I'd made to myself – to be only this new person until I was good enough – worthy – of going back home to my parents. How could I look at her if I wasn't honorable enough to keep that vow.

"Besides, I didn't want my past to hurt her. She always thought I was… special. If she knew all the bad things I'd done, it would ruin her belief in things that are good. She always loved princesses and fairy tale endings. I wanted her to believe that past me was still good – still her prince."

"You mean, you kept it a secret because you liked her thinking well of you – even if she didn't know it was you." The chicken was candid as always.

"I…" Ren sighed. "Probably. You're probably right. Selfish of me, huh? I should have told her from the start."

"Probably," the chicken agreed. "But… now that you're figured it out, can't you just talk to her about it?"

Putting his head in his hands, Japan's #1 actor replied, "That's the problem. I can't. First, she asked me to help her practice kissing for a commercial she got cast in. And… I took advantage. I was supposed to be acting, but all I wanted to do was kiss her. I think I was hoping that," he laughed self-deprecatingly, "my kiss would wake the sleeping princess and she'd fall for me. But deep down, I knew she wouldn't. I… Just really wanted to kiss her."

The chicken tilted its head and said nothing for a few minutes. Finally, it started and said, "Did… she seem to mind?"

Again with the deprecatory laugh. "She didn't even notice how much holding her undid me. I don't think she would have ever realized, except…" He sighed. "She overheard me talking about this with my manager. She heard me say that I'm in love with her. And I'm sure that she's never going to want to see me again."

Again, Bo had to act. "Why would you think that? Doesn't every girl want to be loved?"

"Not this girl. She's strong and independent and she got hurt before. Now, she doesn't trust love. I knew that. That's why I planned to never say anything. I was just going to… be near her. It's better than being without her. I made that mistake in kissing her, but I hadn't planned to repeat it. I would protect her. But… she heard. And add to that the fact that I didn't tell her who I am…She probably won't ever want to see me again."

The chicken stood and paced the hall. "Don't take this the wrong way, but… I have to ask. Would you really be satisfied with just being her friend? With never holding her in your arms, whispering in her ear? Feeling her shiver as you breathed on her neck? Wouldn't you eventually get tired of waiting and find some other girl? I mean, come on. You're the number one most desired man in Japan."

"But she's the only one that *I* desire. All I have to do is see her and I can't help wanting to smile. Being by her side is the most fun I've had in my entire life. Even when she's pissing me off – and she pisses me off all the time! – I still would rather be by her side than anyplace else in the world.

"I'm not saying that it's not torture. Every time she smiles at me, it takes every ounce of self-control to keep from kissing her senseless, taking her to my bed and never letting her leave again. I want to possess her, and I hate myself for that. It's more than just wanting to touch her, to make her mine. I want to keep her from everyone else. And she's so giving, that type of desire would be torture to her.

"God, but I crave her. I have to fight thinking about embracing her every minute of every day – whether we're together or apart.

"Yet… if it will keep her by my side, it'd be a torture worth enduring."

The chicken stood stock still. Then shook its head. Clearing its throat, it said, "Why don't… you tell her that?"

A sorry smile on his face, he responded, "Because I'm scared. She hates love. I just… don't want to never see her again. And I'm afraid it's too late to fix things." The grudge flew off his shoulder and flew over to fly around Bo's head. The other nine welcomed it, and they started whispering softly as they hovered around the costumed mascot.

The chicken started pacing again. "Maybe… maybe she doesn't hate love. Maybe she's just confused about what love is. She got hurt by that jerk, right? Well, maybe she never really loved him at all – maybe her anger was just at how he used her. Because he was supposed to care about her, but didn't – and ended up making her feel worthless and stupid when for so long she thought he was supposed to be the one to save her."

"Well," Ren started, but the chicken just kept right on going.

"Or maybe the one she loved who really hurt her, worse than Shoutarou ever could, was someone else – someone who left her way before that. Who she couldn't hate when he left because she understood he was just trying to fly free. And maybe she loved that person so much that she kept the one thing he ever gave her as her most precious treasure, pouring all her sadness into it. Maybe she's been secretly hoping that someday he'd show up again – this time with wings. And maybe he'd fly her away to a better place."

Wide-eyed, blinking, he opened his mouth, "You… Who are-"

"THERE you are!" the yell down the hall made them both jump. "Jeez! We're on a live show, you know. You've only got about 30 seconds to get your butt on set, Mogami. Now move!"

The manager followed her as she sprinted down the hall.

"Mogami," Ren breathed as his knees gave out and he fell onto the bench. "Mogami. Oh, god. Of course." He started to laugh. "Of course. Mogami. Who else?"

XX


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Skipholic

Fandom: Skip Beat, with some xxxHolic xover

Pairing: Kyouko/Ren  
Rating: T  
Length: 6 chapters.

Summary: Karma has always been better at extracting revenge than humans.

DISC: I do not own Skip Beat or any of the characters. These belong to Nakamura Yoshiki and were originally published in Hana to Yume, and licensed through Viz Media in North America.

I also do not own xxxHolic or any of the characters. These belong to Clamp – those crazy mangaka who make us all practically faint for the shonen-ai and then YANK it out from under us. Clamp, if I can have one request, it's to give us some DouWata love by the end of this series! PLEASE!

Chapter 6

Looking in the mirror, Kyouko knew she'd be a nervous wreck right now if it hadn't been for the phone call from Yashiro. Ren wasn't coming to pick her up. So she didn't have to face him.

He hadn't known that she was Bo. Otherwise, he never would have come to talk to her. But, he knew now. Stupid set manager!

And all those things she'd said to him as Bo.

What had she been thinking? Of course she didn't understand love. She'd never been in love before.

God, what a mess.

"_I just want to kiss her senseless, carry her to my bed and never let her leave…"_

Those words kept running through her mind, making her heart feel like a bird trapped in a too-tight cage, flapping its wings madly.

The dress she was wearing was lovely. The skirt was full, with a ragged edged hem in multiple layers, each in a different shade of green. The princess neckline suited her well, hugging her modest curves, yet making them seem more feminine. The braided trim decorating the neckline and running down the princess seams, then into the skirt where it added a tassel effect, was the perfect finishing touch, making it seem as if she were the fairy princess now.

_Stupid. I'm no fairy and I'm no princess._

But she hadn't bought the dress – it had been a gift from the LME president and his granddaughter as congratulations for successful completion of her first drama. Maria had specifically said she should wear it to the wrap party, and even though the little girl wouldn't be there, she didn't want to disappoint her.

Looking in the mirror, she began to apply makeup. Such a pretty makeup set. Moko was such a good friend to have given it to her for her birthday. Somehow when she was done, she felt like her eyes looked much more romantic, and her lips… they seemed fuller somehow.

"_I just want to kiss her senseless, carry her to my bed and never let her leave…"_

GEH! She was just going to have to avoid him.

After donning her expensive shoes, she grasped the magic blue stone, rubbing it and thinking hard, "Please, take care of me tonight." Then it went back in its case, and she was headed downstairs to meet Yoshiro.

XX

In his tuxedo, Tsuruga Ren's hand couldn't help grasping the small box, turning it over and over, flicking open the lid just a hair and then letting it click shut. He was standing by the bar, letting the gentle conversation of the director and his co-star from the show just wash over him. Already two drinks were in him, and he knew that if he had any more, he wouldn't be physically capable of doing what he'd decided to do.

It was probably stupid. Probably the stupidest thing he'd ever even considered doing. And, he was convinced, the best.

An arrival at the main entrance caused him to look up. And then freeze in place.

She'd bleached her hair back to the color it was when he first saw her at the studio. And in the dress she was in, she looked like a tree sprite. No. Like the queen of the dryads.

He wouldn't be surprised if wings suddenly appeared and she was able to fly. She caught his eye, and quickly looked away, turning toward the other side of the room, where she quickly engaged the woman who had played Mio previously in animated conversation.

It was clear she was going to try to avoid him. Well, that wasn't to be allowed. Not tonight. He would talk to her.

The things she'd said this afternoon. She knew. She knew he was Corn.

Gulping down the rest of his third drink in a single swallow, Ren excused himself from his present company, and strode across the room, setting his empty glass on the bar along the way.

Standing directly behind his little elf, he gazed over her head into the eyes of the older actress and smiled his most charming smile. "Excuse me, but may I borrow my kouhai for a few moments?" he inquired.

The lady smiled and nodded graciously, "Oh, of course." She turned to Kyouko, who was trying to protest and said, "It's okay, dear. We'll just continue where we left off later." Then back to Ren, another nod before she turned to go socialize with other cast members.

"That was a bit rude," Kyouko stated, pouting just a bit. Her heart was racing.

With the Emperor of the Night smile in full force, he replied, "Was it? I apologize. I just need a few minutes of your time. Let's go talk somewhere private."

Eyes wide, she stared at him – his fake smile had never glowed quite so brightly before. He must be absolutely furious. Well, of course that made sense. He had thought he was in love and then found out that she had lied to him about Bo. Okay, it wasn't really lying, but she let him think she was a stranger, let him confess his innermost thoughts… Oh, god. What was he going to do to her? Most of her grudges were swirling protectively – except the ten who were just hanging batch and watching to see what happened next.

Like a lamb to the slaughter, she followed. Not like she had a choice, he had clasped his hand around her wrist and if she hadn't willingly gone, he'd have probably dragged her. Where he touched her skin tingled. She wanted… more? This was terrifying.

He led her to an empty room in the reception hall where the party was taking place, and gestured for her to sit on the sofa there. Looking down, he could see she had her "Ren is scary" face on, and his own expression softened.

"Sorry," he said. "But I didn't think you'd come with me if I just asked. I…" He sat on the chair across from her. "I just wanted to talk with you. I…" Brushing his hair back with one hand, Ren looked at the unhappy girl on the sofa, then looked at the floor. "I know you overheard me talking to Yoshiro yesterday."

She nodded once.

"I didn't know you were Bo," he continued.

She looked up and began rambling, "I didn't mean to keep it from you – it's just at first, I was just so happy to help you when you needed it because you never let anyone help you ever, and then, I didn't know how to tell you and I thought that it would be better if you didn't ever know because then you'd at least have Bo to talk to when you needed him so you'd at least have someone, and…"

His hand on her arm cut off her ranting.

"I was going to say, I didn't know you were Bo, but maybe that was good because I got to tell you how I feel about you without you running away." He reached into his pocket to play with the box again. "I hadn't planned on ever telling you, you know. Not just because of Sho, and not just because I. But…

"You're a great actress, Kyouko. You may just be starting out, but you're going to reach the top. And I know you want to do it on your own. If people found out how I feel about you, you'd get lots of media attention, but it would be for all the wrong reasons. And I don't want to do anything that would prevent you from doing what you want, being who you are.

"I just wanted you to know that you don't have to worry about anything. I'll support you if you need it, but I will give you room to spread your own wings and fly." He smiled. "You know, if anyone in this room was ever magical enough to be a fairy, it would be you."

His hand was on the box in his pocket. Should he give it to her? He caressed the box one more time, then pulled his hand out, empty. He was chickening out, afraid that his own name would get in the way of her success, and even more scared that his name wouldn't get the chance, because she'd just turn him down flat. "I'll be here if you ever need me, Mogami-san, but I won't stand in your way. I know you don't feel that way about me. You may have loved Corn enough to treasure that stone all these years, but I'm not Corn any more.

And I'm still not ready, not good enough to be Kuon."

Her expression displayed confusion, tension, fear, anger, all mixed together. "What do you mean you're not Corn? Of course you are. Who else? There is no one else good enough to be Corn.

"I… You ki-… ARGH!" She stood up from the couch. "You know, I wish you could have told me who you were before I… I mean, it must have been so funny, so strange for you…" She wandered over to look at a painting on the wall, so that she wouldn't have to look at him. "I wonder. Did you hate me when I was acting as Kuon… as you? Hugging on to your father when you couldn't anymore. Even though you probably missed him terribly." Her voice was timid.

He shook his head. "No. I… you were able to make father happy. Say what I never… That's why I can't be Kuon yet. I only make the people I love miserable. It's always been that way. I tried so hard to get away from myself – to become a better man – so I could make up for all the trouble I've caused. But it's no good, is it? You can't get away from who you really are." His hand was in his pocket again, almost crushing the box in his grasp. "All the people I love are better off without me. Father. Mother." He turned toward her and took a deep breath before continuing. "You."

She turned to face him. "So you're just going to leave me alone. You're not going to do anything?" Striding toward him she looked up at him like she wanted to slap his face. "What if I don't want you to… What if… What if that damned Beagle comes back and tries to take me away again?"

His face tightened, but he said nothing.

Anger drained from her expression and her eyes pleaded. "Are you really going to leave me again, Corn?"

There was no thought involved. His arms involuntarily reached out, grabbed her, pulled her into an embrace.

"Kyouko," he sighed her name into her hair. And as her arms wrapped around him, holding him as tightly as he was holding her, his heartbeat quickly went into double time.

He closed his eyes, smelling the clean herbal scent of her shampoo. "Kyouko."

As she raised her head, he opened his eyes briefly again to capture hers before his lips descended upon her own. She closed her eyes and met him halfway.

An army of grudges swirled around them, giving the appearance of fireworks at a festival.

It was as if she was melting, she collapsed in his arms. Only his support kept her knees from giving out entirely. As they broke from the kiss, she fell against his chest.

Reaching into his pocket, he decided again, and pulled the box out. "I brought this for you," he said and she looked up to see him holding a box with a beautiful ring in it. The center stone was an oval-cut sapphire, framed by two trillion-cut emeralds. It looked like her magic stone, on a bed of leaves.

She gasped as he pulled it out of the box and held it out to her, at an angle so she could see it was inscribed.

"For Princess Kyouko, with love forever, Corn," her voice reading the inscription was barely a breath. "I…"

He placed it on the finger of her right hand. "This ring is a promise. That I will always, always love you. I'll wait. I'll wait until you love me like I love you. I'll wait if it takes forever... And once you have your wings, if you say yes at that time, we'll go together, and I'll introduce to my father and mother their new daughter." One hand stroked her cheek as she stared up at him, stunned.

Slowly, he bent down to kiss her again. As his lips touched hers, the fire from the previous night's dream rekindled in her belly, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. As the kiss continued, the floodgates within her were released and the most important task seemed to be to embrace him. First one leg, then the other wrapped around his hips as she held on. He stumbled then pressed forward til her back was against the wall, holding her up. His hips were aligned and he could feel himself growing hard against her.

Moaning, he released her from the kiss. "Stop. We have," he gasped, "to stop."

As he looked at the vixen in his arms, she pouted up at him. "Don't wanna," she said, before kissing his neck again. "I want Ren to kiss me more. Like you do in my dreams."

_In her dreams? _His heart tripped in his chest. She dreamed about him! Oh, god! Another moan ripped out of him and she ground her hips against his firmness. It felt so good.

"We… have to stop. The… party." He gathered himself, grasped her shoulders and pushed her back. "If we don't stop now, I'm going to end up losing my mind. God, I…" He panted. "I just want you so much."

She sighed and dropped her legs to the ground. Then, reality struck her – what had she just done? – and her face turned bright red. "Sorry. I… Oh, god. I've never… I'm…"

He chuckled and said, "Maybe we can try this again another time?"

Her blush grew brighter. But she looked up, and captured his eyes. Biting her lower lip, she asked quietly, "Maybe I could… cook dinner for you… sometime?"

Smiling kindly, he replied, "You don't have to worry. I can wait until you're my wife."

She scowled at him. He was making fun of her, wasn't he? "What if I don't want to wait?"

He blinked. Then a lascivious grin split his face and she backtracked. "What if when you propose, I say no?"

He frowned. "You won't. You love me."

"You're pretty sure of that."

"Yes. I am. Now."

"What if you change your mind about me?"

"Not going to happen."

She looked down at her hand. "Can… I wear this out in public? Even though we're going to have to pretend to be nothing more than Sempai and Kouhai?"

He smiled. "No one but you, the President, and Jelly know that I'm Corn. Even if someone read the inscription, it should be okay. And with the way you're going, you'll be more famous than me by the time you graduate high school. By the time you're 20 at the absolute latest. Do you think we can keep this secret for one to three years?"

She smiled her determined smile and nodded once.

"Hey, um… Are we… dating now?" She looked up at him so earnestly that he felt his resolve to be a gentleman start to cumble. With great feeling, he groaned. "What? We're not?"

"You are a serious strain on my self-restraint. If you keep looking at me like that, we're never going to make it back to the party."

"Oh." She looked surprised. Then nodded, and turned toward the door. "I guess… I should go first, huh?"

"Kyouko?" he called and she stopped. He crossed to her, leaned down and whispered in her ear. "Don't ever forget: I love you."

Cheeks red, she entered into the party. He waited a good 10 minutes before following. There were, after all, some issues that needed to relax first.

XX

In another part of Tokyo, a crimson-eyed witch sighed. "More waiting 'til we get to the good stuff, huh? I'm going to have to rehabilitate every single one of her grudges, so I can get a surround scope going for when those two finally do act on that sexual tension."

She sighed again, watching as if through the eyes of a small creature flying around Kyouko, who was paying special attention to a tall actor across the room. "Sometimes I hate hitsuzen."


End file.
